I HATE being lied to. HATE, HATE, HATE it! Because when I find out I've been lied to I feel stupid for not knowing and I feel as though the person thinks I'm either not worth being honest to or that I will react dreadfully if I was told the truth. But how many people are more angry to find out that they were wronged AND on top of it, lied to about that wronging? I mean I'll always be less angry if I'm given honesty because that shows at least a little moral fiber.
For whatever reason, we, as humans or mammals or whatever you want to blame it on, learn to adapt to our surroundings. We adjust to the living situations, to the time, to the people around us. Constantly shifting, changing, learning to live in this world. And over my 23 years of life, I have developed a skill in my adaptation. Perhaps skill isn't the right word because I have no control over it. I can not force myself to do it or force myself not to. It just happens. But for whatever reason, I have come to have sort of a "Spidey Sense", if you will. It's this dreadfully heavy burning, churning, nervous, angry feeling in the pit of my stomach. Now you may think I just need to stay away from specific foods and stop imagining that I have superhero powers, but this feeling only comes when someone tells me or a loved one a lie. Not all lies, I'm sure there are little ones that slip past at times. Oh but never the big lies...the big lies are obvious from the moment they're uttered because that feeling starts and just sits there, making me feel sick till I get the truth. And so far in these short little 23 years, it has never been wrong.
Which leaves me unable to decide if I like this intuition of mine. This Spidey Sense for liars. This adaptation to help me survive my surroundings. I mean, yes, I know when I'm being lied to, hooray. BUT at the same time is there not some truth to the saying "Ignorance is bliss"? We can't hurt if we don't realize we've been wronged. We can't feel stupid for not seeing it all before. The things I've found out because of that feeling are some of the most awful things. Things I would love to never know because much like Pandora's box, once they're out there...they are OUT THERE. For eternity. My mind has yet to learn how to "unknow" things. And unfortunately, I'm unsure if it's because I'm smarter than most or liars are just less smart than I am, but their lies usually unravel themselves with no assistance from me. One moment I have this feeling eating away at me and then next thing I know *ding dong* "Truth delivery for Ms. Ferguson". It's like the truth finds its way to me on its own.
That dreadful feeling in the pit of my stomach has never been wrong...and I have it right now. Do I want to know the truth or simply accept that ignorance is bliss? Maybe I can just hope that it's wrong this time...very, very wrong.